How to tell whether your online date is who they seem to be

These days, more and more singles are finding their perfect partner on the Internet via online dating  and a few unlucky ones are finding their perfect online dating sob story! The Internet is a faceless communications medium in which any time waster can be anything they claim to be. This makes it easy for the time wasters to fool their way into your head and into your heart  but it can also make for the beginnings of a very strong relationship. Online dating allows you to get to know each other more deeply than just a casual meeting at a bus stop before committing to a first date. How do you determine whether youve caught a keeper or a throw-me-back?

So think youve found a perfect bloke! Youve been hanging about in your group online dating chat room, and just last week this new fellow came in. His nickname is RussellCrowe, which set your heart a-thumping the minute you saw it, and of course you had to talk with him. Youre not REALLY Russell, are you? No? Do you look like him? He answers in the negative to both, telling you that he looks better than Crowe, actually. Hes a Sydney solicitor, with offices in the CBD. And youre off and running.

Over the course of a few days you spend ten or twelve hours chatting with him online. You feel like you can tell this man everything, and he seems to be telling you all of the deeper thoughts and feelings he has. How do you know hes for real? Here are a few ways to find out.

What does he look like? For starters, always ask for pictures. That is pictures, plural. Why? A cad may have found a generic photograph of some gorgeous bloke on the web and downloaded it to call his own. It is unlikely that they will have more than one photo to share with you if this is the case. In this modern era of inexpensive camera equipment and high speed connections for uploading images to online dating sites that day, there is almost no reason for a person not to have three, four, a half-dozen photographs of themselves doing various activities, from sitting in their lounge to hoisting a schooner at the hotel and back again. If youre presented with pictures that were clearly taken all at one sitting, and moreso, if they appear to be professional sorts of images, this should raise a warning bell. If he looks like hes perfect in the pictures, this too, should raise the alarms. Real people dont tend to be flawless.

What are his interests? Does the guy seem to be interested in everything that you are? Or does he have any interests that you dont share? If hes just involved in the things that you mention first, ask him what else he enjoys. An answer of Oh, you know, this and that! Lets talk more about YOU! is really not what you are looking for. A real human being has strong likes and dislikes of his own, and is generally willing to share them, sometimes in too much detail.

Do you have friends in common? You both live in Sydney or its environs, and you both chat in the Sydney chat room on hook me up your favourite website. Its an odds on bet that youve got at least one or two online dating comrades in common, if not in offline life, then online. Talk to your common friends and ask them about this man. Be prepared to be surprised, but hope for a good report.

Is he consistent? The number of fakers who are caught through simple inconsistencies is amazing. If he tells you on Wednesday that hes a big fan of Cold Chisel, but then on Friday he doesnt recognize the lyrics to When the War is Over, you may have a problem there. If he tells you that hes a big Star Wars fan, but doesnt know which planet Luke Skywalker was from, you should probably be concerned. If, on the other hand, he tells you every detail of Lukes life, and knows how his face got mangled in real life, hell be apples, mate!

Is he willing to let you ring him? If a person you meet online is unwilling to give you his home telephone number, this could be a sign that hes got a reason he doesnt want calls at home  for example, hes married or living with somebody. This is not certain, as, for example, some people these days only have mobile phones, and others may be concerned about giving out personal contact information to a total stranger from the Internet. Online dating can be a bit of a challenge for both daters

The show-down! Of course, no-one can guarantee that this person is everything that they claim to be, except for meeting them in person and really getting to know them. This hold for the world of online dating and chance meetings. The first few dates should be conducted with some level of safety precautions, as once again, this is a stranger you are meeting. Just as you wouldnt want to go off alone with a stranger youve just met at a pub, you want to ensure maximum safety with somebody youve just met online. Meet in a well populated place, for example, under the dome at the QVB. Bring a friend, and suggest that he bring one as well if you arrange this in advance. If you cant bring a friend for whatever reason, make sure that at least three friends know where you are going and why you are going there. Arrange check-in times to ring them up and let them know that all is well. Also ask them to call you at least once so you can escape if you are on a date with Mr Boring Dont bring a date youve just met to your home, nor should you go to theirs. Save that for when you know each other better.

Recap The simple fact is that most of the friends you meet online will be pretty much what they present themselves as, but theres always one bad apple in every barrel. By checking for consistency, believability, and keeping basic safety in your thoughts without being paranoid, you could end up meeting the person you will marry one day. Anybody who doesnt feel that expecting these things from a potential date or mate is probably not somebody you want to seriously consider spending much time with, either online or off.

Happy dating!

mr online dating writes for www.hookmeup.com.au to help australian singles find good relationships and keep them